Thoughts while watching Disney's Tangled...

It's spring break week for the local public schools, so I treated my oldest to a movie, namely Tangled. While I kept these comments to myself at the time, I thought I would share them with you.

1. Screenwriters treated animated movie like an audition for Broadway show version. Apparently I am not the only one who noticed:
   
   
2. Implied message: Cleavage (in form of old stepmom Gothel) = Evil. In other words, displaying any hint of sexuality isn't virtuous. I'm all for appropriate attire, but this message seems rather prudish.

   

   Evil cackle + cleavage = Heavy-handed message courtesy of Disney

   
   
3. "Eugene" is Flynn Rider's given name? Really? As if "Gene" wouldn't have been bad enough? I much prefer this bit of creativity. Flynn Rider spoof of Old Spice commercials:
   
   
4. Naming the horse after Russell Crowe's Gladiator character? Lame.

   

   There's only one Maximus. End of story.

   
   
5. Where did Rapunzel's chameleon friend Pascal come from? Why is he even necessary, aside from giving the hero a wet willy to revive him? Here's his only big moment in the entire movie:
   
   
6. The old dude termed "short thug" in the casting needs his own spinoff. Easily the best part of the whole movie. Pardon the amateurish clip, but it's all I could find.
    
   Admittedly I have a lot of time on my hands this week, but does anyone else care to share their thoughts re: Tangled?

The Sky Is Falling!!!!!

Not to go all Chicken Little, but let's recap the St. Louis Cardinals preseason to this point:

• Albert Pujols remains unsigned beyond the 2011 season.

Albert Pujols: Gonna make bank in 2012, maybe not for my beloved Cards.

• Adam Wainwright, Cy Young finalist and potentially the team's best starting pitcher, underwent Tommy John surgery on his right (throwing) elbow Monday and will not pitch for the next 12-15 months.

We won't be seeing Waino hit the mound until sometime in 2012 at the earliest.

• Chris Carpenter, the other candidate for best starting pitcher, and flame-throwing reliever Mitch Boggs both leave the game on Tuesday. Carp tweaked his hamstring; Boggs strained his back.

Carp hopes to miss only 1 spring training start.

Boggs is taking a wait-and-see approach to his back strain.

Kinda makes one yearn for the days when skipper Tony LaRussa was discovered in Jupiter, FL slumped at the wheel at a stoplight, huh?

TLR fell asleep at the wheel...literally.

Someone tell me when it's safe to read another report from Jupiter, FL. I can't handle any more bad news.

Louisville @ Notre Dame, aka House Divided

Every year this basketball game is a tough one to watch. You see, I am a Notre Dame alum in my adopted hometown of Louisville. I married my college sweetheart, who hails from – you guessed it – Louisville. As a lifelong fan of the Cards, she often waits until tip-off to determine which team she will root for. Other times, she simply leaves the room, too upset to even watch.

For both of us, it is difficult to enjoy fully either team's success in this game. One's success always comes at the expense of the other team, and you know full well that loved ones are hurting as a result. Our boys are too young yet to have experienced playing sports against one another, but I have an inkling how it feels to be a parent in that situation.

Having said that, I would like to touch on Kyle Kuric's dunk at the end of the first half. In case you missed it, and you really should see it, here is the clip:

Because Kuric received a technical foul afterward, it has been the subject of some debate. (You'll note this link is from a column in the Louisville Courier-Journal. The South Bend Tribune understandably focused on the outcome in overtime and chose to omit references to the tremendous dunk by Kuric.)

Now, I will be the first to recognize that:

• Kyle Kuric's dunk was nothing short of amazing, reminiscent of his work against top-ranked Syracuse in the last game played at Freedom Hall.
• Kuric is not a trash-talker but, from all appearances, a stand-up kid.
• If anything, his coaches and teammates have continually pushed Kuric to show more leadership as a junior, to be more demonstrative. (I don't disagree with this advice.)
• Other players have certainly gotten away with more abusive behavior toward opponents.

However, I would also point out:

• The Big East has a national reputation as a rough-and-tumble basketball conference, so it is likely the league's referees are charged with making sure things don't get out of hand.
• Taunting of any sort is frowned upon in college athletics, among fellow student athletes. (While I agree with this policy, I am less bothered by trash-talking, etc. in pro sports.)
• Kyle Kuric stated that he “looked down at him and walked away.” It sure seemed to me that Kuric's "look" was more of a "glare" at Irish guard Scott Martin. The point, however, is that Kuric wasn't mugging for the camera or interacting with the student section. He singled out a fellow student athlete for embarrassment and was whistled for it.

The technical foul was the correct call. Not because Kyle Kuric is a dirty player or a bad person, but because he demeaned a fellow student athlete, a 21- or 22-year-old kid. College athletes are supposed to be there for the purpose of earning a degree. They are not supposed to try to posterize each other, belittling others in the hopes of making themselves look better.

Thoughts from Super Bowl XLV

The Game

Match-up of the NFL's 2 best defenses

There sure were a lot of points scored – 56 combined – in a tilt featuring the league's best defensive units. For what it's worth, the Packers D, with 3 forced turnovers and the interception return for a touchdown, outplayed the Steelers D.

Host city Dallas
I find it amusing that:

Bart Starr plunges into the end zone in the "Ice Bowl," the 1967 NFL Championship Game

.

Lynn Swann hauls in a "Hail Mary" from Terry Bradshaw in Super Bowl X.

• The contestants of Super Bowl XLV each have their own share of postseason history with the city's beloved Cowboys, who were noticeably absent from the proceedings. (Stuff that in your ten-gallon Stetson and smoke it, fans of so-called “America's Team.”)
• The weather leading up to the Super Bowl included some ice, lots of snow and cold rain. This certainly couldn't have done much for the festive atmosphere the NFL tries to create for its signature event.
• Undaunted by the wet blanket the weather provided, nor the incomplete seating in the end zones, Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and local civic leaders are petitioning for Dallas to be added to the unofficial Super Bowl hosting rotation of Miami and New Orleans.

Steelers running game
Let me see if I understand. The Steelers come out in the second half and run the ball right down the Packers' collective throat, then decide to have Big Ben repeatedly drop back and throw despite inconsistent results. Why wouldn't you continue to RUN THE DAMN BALL?! Isn't this what Pittsburgh did throughout the playoffs, indeed has always done?

Franco Harris won 4 Super Bowls with the 1970's era Steel Curtain teams.

Aaron Rodgers as MVP
I was really happy to see him perform well on the NFL's biggest stage. The Brett Favre comparisons are inevitable, but as sports columnist Bernie Miklasz astutely points out, Rodgers is more akin to Bart Starr than Favre. Boy, let's hope it stays that way.

Aaron Rodgers finally has his real championship belt, courtesy of linebacker Clay Matthews.

Future of the NFL
The potential for a work stoppage continued to dominate headlines leading up to the Super Bowl. I, for one, agree that the NFL needs to do far more to secure the safety of players before it can consider adding 2 more games to the schedule.

Injuries are a part of the game, reinforced by the fact that Steelers center Maurkice Pouncey missed the game entirely, and Packers receiver Donald Driver and cornerback Charles Woodson didn't play a down in the second half. But when it comes to the league's biggest games, don't you want the best players to decide the outcome rather than to watch from the sidelines in street clothes?

Charles Woodson sat out the 2nd half of Super Bowl XLV with a broken collarbone.

Sidelights

Flubbed national anthem
Maybe I just had low expectations going in, but let's cut Christina Aguilera a little slack for forgetting a line of the national anthem. If you have never made a mistake when in front of a crowd of people, then perhaps you can lob a stone in Christina's direction. Besides, no one can touch Whitney Houston's breathtaking rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner.

Best TV commercials
While the bar for Super Bowl commercials admittedly has been ratcheted down the last few years, this year's crop was a pleasant surprise. For me, the Pepsi Max and Doritos spots were easily the best. The creep-out factor of the Doritos finger-licking spot was especially memorable, but points get deducted from the Pepsi Max spots as a group for the crotch shot. It's been done to death, and it does nothing to make anyone want to enjoy a soft drink.

Worst TV commercials
GoDaddy & ShapeUps share the award here. While I enjoy the female form as much as anyone, you're going to have to put more thought and effort into your marketing and advertising before you can part me from my money. Check out USA Today's Super Bowl ad meter.

Spike Lee, LeBron James & The Decision

Watching highlights of LeBron James dropping 51 on the Orlando Magic last night reminded me of a post that I meant to write and never did. So here goes...

The Decision would have been the biggest sports-related public relations blunder of 2010 if not for Tiger Woods' ongoing struggles to put his life and career back together. Most of the commentary I have seen agrees that it was awkward and dragged on. I don't think I am alone in believing that James ended up dropping what amounted to a giant “F You” to the entire metro Cleveland area.

Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert reacted horribly but was understandably upset at the lack of respect shown to him and his team. No, LeBron James didn't owe him any more seasons, but he owed him a PHONE CALL.

Initially, Spike Lee's comments are spot-on. Look, James was a free agent, and he decided it was best for him to move on. He knew it wouldn't be popular, but he did what he thought was best for him. Here are comments Lee made during an interview on ESPN following The Decision broadcast:

However, I saw Spike Lee appear subsequently in a town hall session on the image of the black athlete on ESPN as part of a Martin Luther King, Jr. remembrance. (I just happened to stumble across the panel discussions involving director Spike Lee, college basketball coach John Calipari, sprinter Marion Jones, college football coach Randy Shannon, former basketball player Jalen Rose and sports journalist Michael Wilbon. I would encourage you to watch all of the segments on YouTube.) Frankly, I was appalled at Lee's commentary that day:

Lee's divisive commentary, invoking imagery of runaway slaves being beaten and tormented by presumably white owners, stands in stark contrast to King's message of working together for a better world for all people. If Lee had specifically addressed his comments toward Cavaliers owner Gilbert and his unprofessional reaction, they would have been easier to swallow. But the big problem is that Gilbert was to a degree justified in his feelings because James failed to perform the common courtesy of filling Gilbert in on his plans BEFORE telling the rest of the world.

What is more, Cleveland sports fans can actually be forgiven for feeling betrayed. They thought James was “one of them.” He claimed to understand just how hard the generations of losing had hurt the area's collective psyche. More than any other NBA player, James “got it.” Not only did he understand, but he shared in that suffering, so the fans believed in him to bring their city that ever elusive championship.

When James so coldly pulled the plug on his stint with the Cavaliers, it was unthinkable to these fans. It was sort of like serving your spouse divorce papers on the Jumbotron and telling him or her “I never loved you.” Except for one thing – The Decision was aired on national television!!!! Complete and utter humiliation served up on national television for fans that had dared to let their guard down. They trusted him to stop all of the losing, and in return they received the latest, most painful chapter in their saga of despair.

Conclusions

• I am no fan of any particular Cleveland team, but Cleveland fans got the rawest deal I have ever seen.
• I think Lee got it right the first time, and I can't understand why he felt the need to speak of runaway slaves. The timing of his questionable comments was reprehensible.
• Oh yeah, I hate the font Comic Sans, too.

Season of Excess

No, I am not referring to any particular holiday tradition. Rather, I want to talk about the college football bowl season.

Examples of excess:

• Game duration It's so bad, that commentators remark about it off-the-air. See Jon Gruden's comment at the end of this column.
• Bowl game names Thanks to corporate sponsorships, the bowl names are ridiculously long. While I can live with "Discover Orange Bowl," it makes me feel dirty. Further, does anyone get excited about the "American Mortgage Music City Bowl"? This practice is distasteful, and anyone not associated with the sponsors will probably agree. Rather than staging all of the ancillary events associated with the bowl games, I bet we could think of a 1,000 better ways to spend that corporate money.
• Number of bowls Are we trying to turn college football into the Stanley Cup playoffs? Too many games involving too many mediocre teams. (Seahawks fans can rest easy now, no more jokes at your expense after your team beat the reigning Super Bowl champs on Sat.)
  
• Hype and preview shows I don't need to watch and listen to talking heads dissect a game for a half hour before kickoff. Just the games, please.
• Bowl season Let me get this straight -- a playoff system would negatively impact the academic performance of student-athletes. However, the length of time between the beginning and the end of the bowl season -- 12/18 through 1/10 -- is better than 4 weekends. Either give me a playoff system that runs those same 4 weekends, or give me back the biggest bowls all falling on 1/1, which would help to avoid hindering the student-athletes' classroom performance.

While I fully support a college football playoff system, I don't believe it would address all of these shortcomings. However, until that day comes when a legitimate national champion of NCAA football can be crowned through a playoff, let's at the very least clean up this mess.

It's the right thing to do.

Make someone's New Year Happy. Donate your unused toys.

We have taken down the Christmas tree and all of the decorations, meaning my wife actually took them down and I physically carried the heavier boxes downstairs to the basement. All of the new toys sat out for a few days while the kids tried to decide what to play with first. Of course, this toy influx necessitated sorting through all the oodles of toys they already had to determine what we should keep, and what we should part with.

As I was grabbing beignets one recent morning, I was chatting with the owner of the restaurant about this incredible accumulation of toys. He agreed that his son was completely overwhelmed by his Christmas presents, but then he shared an interesting story with me.

It seems that he came into contact with a local refugee family with a toddler boy. When the boy came over to a neighbor's house, he immediately sought out and clung to toys that resembled car keys and a mobile phone. The owner learned the boy did this because the family had NO toys whatsoever for him to play with, so his parents let him have their keys or phone.

Inspired, I checked into some organizations that could use gently used toys. For starters, here is a good eHow post on toy donations.

Here is a short list I developed, too:

• Toys for Tots
• Child's Play
• Freecycle

Of course, please be sure to check that the toys you intend to donate have not been recalled. You can do so by checking with the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission.

I hope that you enjoyed your holidays as much as we did, and Happy 2011!

Sugar Bowl 2011 wrap-up

First of all, I want to start by saying that I don't care to enter the debate over whether the 5 Ohio State players should have been eligible to play. I don't think they should have played, but then again, I have no interest in the position of NCAA czar on player punishment.

Before anyone accuses me of being partial to either Ohio State or Arkansas, you should know that I dislike both teams. Due to the particularly unruly behavior of Buckeye "fans" when my beloved Irish have visited Columbus, I don't care for Ohio State. Conversely, I have never liked the Razorbacks, and I consider their head coach a weasel. Just ask any University of Louisville or Atlanta Falcons fan how they feel about him.

As anyone who watched the Sugar Bowl knows, the Buckeyes jumped out to a commanding lead. In the second half, the Razorbacks attempted a frenzied comeback that fell short. Finally the big bowl games were upon us, and the game was exciting to the finish.

As for my analysis, the game came down to one simple fact. With the possible exception of portions of the second half, Ohio State's receivers consistently made plays. The same could not be said of Arkansas' receivers. They looked jittery in the first half, only growing comfortable on the big stage after their team fell behind.

Otherwise, I think the game was a wash. Both quarterbacks played well, both defenses made plays. While Ohio State got more from its running game than did Arkansas, I don't think that was a deciding factor in the game.

Digital marketing 101 for small businesses

When I talk to small business owners about digital marketing, the most common comment I hear is, "Boy, I know I need to do something online, I just don't how to start." As with other types of marketing, there is no one-size-fits-all digital marketing package. So where to begin?

Well, for starters, it would be a fantastic idea to take an inventory of one's current marketing efforts:

• How are you currently spending your marketing budget?
• Is there an overarching strategy to your marketing?
• If so, when was the last time you re-examined the strategy and made adjustments?
• And here's the kicker -- Do you know what kind of results you are getting from each different marketing tactic you employ?

Let's assume that we now have answers to each of the above questions. Certain changes to your marketing plan are likely to be implied by these answers. For example, it may turn out that newspaper commands an ever-growing portion of the marketing budget, but you are getting less bang for your buck. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that you should rely less on newspaper, if at all.

Now you are almost ready to figure out what your digital marketing budget is. However, you still haven't established whether digital marketing makes sense for your business and, if so, which components hold the most promise.

Whether or not digital marketing makes sense for your business depends upon a number of factors, such as:

• Type of business
• Number of locations
• How consumers shop for your products or services
• Your current capacity to handle additional business
• Your ability to interact with prospects and customers
• How consumers currently perceive your business

Consider the case of a hypothetical local chain of dry cleaners.They have several locations, which consumers find both digitally (email, search engines, internet yellow pages) and through more traditional media (out-of-home, newspaper, etc.). However, while the chain wants to grow their business, customers already complain about the amount of time they have to wait to pick up their clothing.

Clearly, this chain is not in a place to invest heavily in digital marketing. Perhaps email campaigns, enhanced internet yellow pages listings, search engine marketing and social media could drive additional business, but to what end? The business cannot handle the volume of business they already have. Additionally, it is unlikely that anyone associated with the business would have the spare time to interact with prospects and customers.

All right, then, let's now assume that this dry cleaning business has invested in additional machinery and employees in order to reduce the wait time to pick up clothing. Happily, this leads to improved customer satisfaction. Further, let's assume that these investments paid for themselves fairly quickly, freeing up funds for additional marketing efforts.

Finally, our dry cleaning business is ready to establish a digital marketing budget. But first, let's be sure that we know whether we:

1. Have staff in place to interact with prospects and customers through digital means.
2. Are prepared to deal with negative comments, ratings and reviews of the business.

While the correct manner for dealing with these steps may vary for different businesses, I have a few suggestions. If the staff has limited time and no one is prepared to deal with potential negativity, then perhaps some combination of email campaigns, internet yellow pages advertising and search engine marketing make the most sense. The downside here is that these means of promoting your business have greater upfront costs associated with them.

Conversely, if money is tight, but there are people in place to deal with prospects and customers, both happy and unhappy, then social media may be the way to go. Twitter accounts, LinkedIn profiles and Facebook pages cost nothing to establish. However, and I cannot stress this enough, a business should not use these media to shamelessly promote themselves and their own interests.

These media allow businesses to engage with an online community. In return for connecting with your business, the community expects regular contributions that demonstrate value to it, the community. Your communication needs to be strategic and focused on the end benefit to the community as opposed to your business' bottom line.

Think of social media as similar to parenting. As with parenting, the barriers to entry are minimal, but doing the job well is a challenge. Be sure that you are prepared to tackle the enterprise before casually entering these waters, as there is no half-stepping into either social media or parenting.

Hopefully someone out there reads and appreciates these tips, and I apologize for not being pithy this time out. I welcome comments, and I promise to respond to the civil ones.